Dear 2012-
We’ve had a good run.
Started off with a bang, stayed strong and steadfast for many months,
and only began to question each other a bit in these last few months. Such is the story of most of my
relationships.
And much like those, we too now must say goodbye. Not because it wasn’t good. But because that’s just the way things go I
suppose. So know this is not a lament
for the end but a love letter for everything you were.
Over the last year I have been given so many
opportunities. All of my major events
were successful, and even when incredibly difficult my teams came together to
make it happen. Because that’s what you
do when you do what you love. I have
never felt more sure of my skills than I did this year. And I am not one to be sure of much.
I watched friends cross the finish lines of marathons that I
helped to make happen.
I saw children fight Darth Vader and hundred of people meet
their idols. I became friends with some
of those idols.
I helped a movie premiere.
I stood with nearly 100 Stormtroopers on Main Street
USA.
I got to go on my first ever cruise. No, I got PAID to go on my first ever cruise
and there I met two legendary Disney artists and a Hollywood producer who told
me to call him if I ever get to LA.
I helped cut ribbons and at one of those ribbon cuttings I,
among other things, called the cues for OneRepublic to begin.
But my proudest professional moment was stage managing an
event for the First Lady. I worked side
by side with people from the White House, and got to meet Michelle Obama. And she was every bit as lovely as I had
hoped. I have never been more nervous to
fail in my life. And I didn’t. And now, all events are judged by the level
of pressure I felt then. “Hey… It’s not like it’s the first lady.” ;)
And most importantly I felt I proved myself. I was put onto a bench for a promotion and
can say I feel that I earned it through blood, sweat, and tears. Literal blood, sweat, and tears. Not to mention 24 hour shifts, sleepless
nights, frustrations, and some damn hard work.
I can’t wait for the chance to move forward.
I wrote two shows this year that made their way to the
stage. Both of which were incredibly
difficult. Both of which I am extremely
proud. The first consisted of monologues
from people in the theatre. My love
letter to the theatre I called it. And
it was. The other took one of my
favorite subjects, Alice in Wonderland, and twisted into something new. I have never been more nervous for a concept
to fail. I have never been more proud
that it didn’t. There were parts of that
show that were transformative for me.
And while, for now, I need a little break from it, I know I will come
back to it some day.
I started this blog, decidedly uncensored and without
rules. Just the way I like it.
I celebrated Disney buying Lucas films. This means nothing to many of you, but much
to me.
I was invited by someone from the White House to a
presidential rally and then watched my president win the election.
I gained a roommate but more so a confidante, a friend, a
sister. My life is better with Whitney
in it. Everyone’s life is better with
Whitney in it.
The Corletts came to visit me, Diane came to visit me, Jackie
came to visit me, Thea came to visit me, Eric came to visit me, Anthony came to
visit me, Justin came to visit me. So
much love. So much fun.
I became closer to many of the friends I already had but
most of all with Aron who I love and adore.
My friend Rob, my partner in creative crime, married the
love of his life, a beautiful wonderful woman whom I adore.
I spent countless lunches with Larry who might be the best
listener on earth.
I got to see Danielle and Shane in their native Detroit.
I saw my favorite band, Blues Traveler, not one, not two,
but three times. And one of those times
was when my sister, a single mother with not much to spare, saved her money to
surprise me with a trip to Boston for my birthday. And then another surprise
with backstage passes. It was
magical. Not just because of the music
and the excitement of being backstage, but more so for the time spent with my
sister, time making up for the 10 years we lost. I was and am humbled.
It was not all perfect.
It was not always easy. And
sometimes it was decidedly very very hard.
But in those moments I never felt alone and when I reached out to anyone
they were always there. The Corlett
family was at the end of one of those reaches and as they always do they
reached back with an open hand that shot right out of their heart without
expectation or judgment. And I was
reminded again how lucky I am to have them in my life.
I resigned from an organization that I love because while it
pains me still, I know it was the right thing for me.
An old love came back into my life which was good. And then after a time went out again. Which was also good. Because this time he went out on my
terms because I know what I need and that he is not it.
My heart was broken.
But it mends well.
I watched a friend come much to close to the edge of
death. For weeks I watched. But then I watched her pull herself back over
the edge. And not only did she regain
her life, I gained a family. And somehow
I knew the whole time that you wouldn’t take her from us.
I had dark times, but I never, ever lost sight of the light.
And I was once again reminded that of all the things I have
chosen in my life, my friends have been the best of my decisions. I have very high standards of friendship, I
know that. But though they are high they
are not unreasonable and the people I allow to get close to me never fail to be
even better than I ask them to be. They
love me unconditionally, appreciate my sarcasm, support me when I cannot walk
on my own, encourage me when I don’t believe in myself, understand that while I
can appear to be a bitch sometimes there is (as my sister put it just today) a “mush
pot of love underneath”, remind me that I am needed, hold my hand when I am
afraid, listen patiently when I rant, are not frightened by my passion, and
never ever let me feel crazy alone. Of
all the things you gave me, 2012, the understanding of just how damn lucky I am
for this and this alone is the best thing.
Thank you for that. Thank you.
I may have forgotten a few details; you were so very good to
me. And for anything I have forgotten I
am sorry. It is not because I don’t
appreciate but because the abundance was more than any one person deserves.
I’ve heard many friends say how happy they are for this year
to end. I know the feeling. Last year at this time as 2011 drew to a close
I could not wait to flip my calendar and start trying to remember to write a 2
instead of 1 on the date. I was DONE
with your predecessor. It had not been
kind to me. And so you were a welcome
change. This time is different. 2013 has already called ahead to let me know
that it’s going to be a bit more difficult than you were. I’m taking a deep breath and preparing, and
trying to remember that so many difficult things in my life that I did not look
forward to ended up being exactly what I needed.
And so that is probably it then, huh? 2012 was the year of receiving the things I
didn’t even know I wanted. I suppose
2013 may be the year to receive the things I didn’t even know I needed. That’s harder on the front end (especially
for a self proclaimed control freak like me)…
But usually ends up being better for you when it’s done. I’ll take it.
I won’t always like it. But I
will take it.
But just in case, my dear 2012, if you would be so kind as
to phone ahead and let 2013 know to go easy on me, I sure would appreciate
it. Think of it as your one last act of
goodwill. And in return I shall remember
you favorably and sing your praises.
Love always,
Me
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